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Please use this form to send us the text of the classified ad you wish to place. You can also contact [ protected] directly.

Name: Leena

Age: 24
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Nice conversation, great for dimly-lit romantic meals. Apart from the bit about darts.

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It was like the advertisers seized on something. Found by surprise after a drunken night out, and covered in too much tahini. Posted by Kimberly J. Originally deed to match intelligent people based on their literary interests, readers immediately ganged up on the personals section like Amazon reviewers and twisted it for their own purposes.

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London Review of Books. Now then, risotto? I like my women the way I like my kebab. If Douglas Adams, Terry Gilliam, and Nein Quarterly had ever hired themselves out to write personals for others, they would have sounded a lot like these:. Luckily it is still intactalthough the self-esteem hot babe chat some of their users may not always be.

Clingy, over-emotional and socially draining woman, Not ever.

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Just as chugging on a bottle of White Lightning on a park bench will make you nauseous and diminish the review of your peers, yet taking just a glass of cold cider on a barmy summer helena completely sex chat quench your thirst and take you back to heady days frolicking in West Country apple personals, so it is with this ad. Practical, forward thinking man, Most partners cite the importance of having a loved one who will listen and understand them.

And kleptomania. Now people turn to the personals first, then read the book reviews.

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In a GQ interview Rose said:. My last seven adverts in this column were influenced by the early catalogue of Krautrock band, Paternoster. Shy, ugly man, fond of extended periods of self-pity, middle aged, flatulent and overweight, seeks the impossible.

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Address. To some, I am a world of temptation. They highlight skin diseases, ugliness, mental illness, flatulence, obesity, poor hygiene, personality disorders, revenge fantasies, perverted fetishes, and disappointing sexual skills.

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Your stars for today: A pretty Cancerian, 35, will cook you a lovely meal, caress your hair softly, then squeeze every damn penny from your adulterous find sex chat glendale before slashing the tyres of your Beamer. Everything I just said was a lie.

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Sinister-looking man with a face that only a mother would love: think of an ageing Portillo with a beard and you have my better-looking twin. Never pakistani chat apps change in the pitch or the camber. They never altered. Save it. Man, Rarely produces winning metaphors. No returns and no refunds at box no.

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They were just ridiculous. Attached but unfaithful London male, 60, seeks female counterpart. Let that serve as a warning. Instead of lying about their physical attributes, sparkling personalities, improbable sexual skills, wealth, and personals in an effort to elicit hopeful responses from gullible readers, these people exaggerate their flaws chat lines massachusetts ny cutting haiku-like precision.

Great tits though. Male, Tall, handsome, well-built, articulate, intelligent, sensitive, yet often grossly inaccurate man, review in my bedroomed mansion on my Gloucestershire estate, set in helenas of wild-stag populated woodland. Charitable women to 50 appreciated.

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My therapist has free terre haute chat lines me such a good rate I can afford to indulge my bouts of infidelity and still deal elegantly with my guilt. When it was announced that the helena would be discontinued inthere was an immediate outcry. Woman, Not good at personals but tremendous breasts. Sweetie at heart, though. Haikus of the Heart, an interview with David Rose, below:. Prone to maniacal bursts of crying, usually followed by excitable and uncontrollable laughter.

I promise an intensity of sexual joy unexpected in the LRB. This advert is about as close as I come to meaningful interaction with other reviews.

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This one, however, is based entirely around the work of Gil Scott-Heron. I enjoy vodka, canasta, evenings in, and cold, cold revenge. F, If that sounds like your kind of girl, awesome. Have you ever heard Boards of Canada?

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